Back to our regularly scheduled program

 

<cough, cough, cough> waving my hands in front of my face. Damn this place is dusty.. Has it really been MONTHS since I was last here...

I'm back.. Took an inadverent vacation from expressing my thoughts and personal ramblings but i'm back. With more bullshit to share with the masses...or lack of masses... I've only got a handful of folks reading this.. So without further ado...<DRUM ROLL PLEASE>



WHAT THE FUCKING HELL GOING !!!! I mean really. The world is coming to a damn end. The Cryami Heat won the damn NBA championship (FUCK THEM). Chicago actually had a spring season for the first time in LAWD knows how long. And i've been shipped off to Lil' Beruit.. Well I haven't been shipped anywhere. Yet with all the damn murders on the streets of Chi thats what it seems like to me.

So what is it you ask. What is it thats gotten my drawers all snuggly up my ass crack. What is it thats made me pluck my eye brows (i've pull out my hair but i'm bald). What is it that's made me realize once more that SOME PARENTS ARE FUCKING NUTTIER THAN THESE FOLKS ON BATH SALTS (more on the zombie apoloicype later) Well.... It's.....

http://baby-bangs.com. Don't worry its a legit site. UN-FUCKING-FORTUNATELY...

Really.. Really people.. Are we serious?!?!? Is this what the world's coming to..

WIGS FOR BABIES!!!!

I'm sorry. I know i'm not a parent. Although I did become a grandfather back in May (go figure) HEY DJ!!. Where was I. Oh yea.. parenting... There are certain things that are expected from babies. They piss and shit themselves. They have no teeth. They can't walk or talk.. And most are hairless.. Its a natural born fact. Some babies are born with hair and some are not. That's fine. Its to be EXPECTED.. So why this..

Who in the hell wants to give a baby a hair piece.. Yes thats all it is. its a fucking TOUPEE for babies..

Like this








                                              

or this
       
Or heaven forbid this piece of shit


     

SERIOUSLY FOLKS.. Babies are meant to be bald for a while. If there's something wrong and the babies hair isn't growing then you still love that child as they are. It's bad enough that kids grow are starting to have body image issues in the adolescent years. Now you there's a movement to screw them up even earlier..

Stop it folks. For the love of the almighty stop it. Barring any medical illness your child will grow hair. If they don't then being a loving parent you'll love that child as is.. Flaws and all. When you start putting shit like this on a child's head its not for the child.. Its for your own selfish ass. You sorry excuse for a loving protecting providing parent. It's all on you..


P.S I promise to be more active with this blog of mine. Some folks have told me that they actually enjoy my skewed take on reality and everythuign that comes along with it. So i'll keep it going as much as possible..

Coming soon.

 Why a woman can't teach a lil boy to be a man..

It's all on you

STOP, IT'S ME!!! PLEASE DON'T SHOOT ITS ME!!!

I know, i know. I've been away for a while. It seems like every time I post I say I'm gonna be more regular. And every time. More time drifts by.. Well this extended hiatus was for good cause..Mainly Won't go into it but its been a wild couple of months. And now I'm BAAACK!!!! For a bit

A lot has happened since I last posted. I wanted to post about Whitney and all the shade that's been tossed at Bobby Brown.. Then I realized it was too much like Amy Whinehouse. I didn't want to harp on that.... Actually, no my comments on the whole Whitney situation would probably have stepped on someone's feelings and emotions (see I can be a softee sometimes).

One of my faithful readers commented on me not having anything to write about.  Told her, when you're are ignorant in the head as I am there's ALWAYS something to write or talk about. In all honesty. I just haven't made time to put my ramblings to paper.

So with that in mind. I'm gonna make an honest effort to post something on a somewhat regular basis. Now.. <insert drum roll please> OUR FEATURED PRESENTATION!!!!!!

If you're a parent you may want to stop at this point.. Simply because I'm more than like lt about to shit all over you. Not just you though. I'll be shitting on your parents and your parents parents and your parents parents parents and yours...... you get the point. I swear that as a general rule of thumb parents screw their kids up for a time in their lives. Especially when they're young..

Yea I've said it. You've FUCKED THEM UP MENTALLY (for a time)!!! Just as your parents did to you. Think about it. There's was some point in your child hood where mom and dad did shit that to you, and that shit scared the hell out of you. And that fear lingers with you to this day. Don't even front, YOU'VE GOT A TRIGGER.. Hell I've got one. For me it's when someone...........Oh you thought I was gonna tell you, so you could torment my ass.. FUCK THAT SHIT!!! That's my own private hell and I'll burn in it (occasionally) without any assistance from you..

So back to parents fucking up their kids. The worst offenders of this tragedy are the parents of young kids. YEAH Y'ALL!!!! And here's what I mean. When you're in the house you spend all day worrying about the dangers your child can get into while in the home. You're worrying about the strange man that smiled at you all when you were out walking. You worry about pollution, green house gasses, germs from other kids.. You WORRY WORRY WORRY...

As a result of all that worrying you grab your kids EXTRA HARD when there is some perceived threat. You shelter them from every "harmful" thing on television. You cover their ears when you don't want them to hear "something bad". Yet have you ever asked yourself how harmful your behavior is to your kid..... HMMMMMM!?!?!?!? I'm not a psychologist (lord have mercy I could not imagine having their job) but I'd venture a guess at saying in your rush to "protect" you're actually harming them..

Oh I'm sure someone will say "You're not a parent so you don't understand..." And you're right I don't (oh and fuck you for rubbing my lack in my face) but I am an uncle and a god father and a step father and most importantly a child.. Think about this. Ever wonder why your child takes a second and pauses and looks at you when you grab them BEFORE they cry and scream.... Cause they're probably thinking "This crazy (sexist gender slur) hurt me and I didn't do nothing." You know I'm right..

Don't believe me.. Examine your own quirks... Those itty bitty idiosyncrasies that you've got. They started when... EXACTLY!! And if it didn't happen during your adult year, they those pre teen years is when you were fucked..

Here are some "PLAUSIBLE" examples..

As a college student  you're a black out drunk every night. Mom and dad most likely didn't  let you have any sort of fun.

You child starts pre-school and they have no social skills. Teacher calls you talking about Little (insert cute baby name that will haunt child for life here) doesn't really know how to interact with kids. Or they are a bully. That child probably had a parent who didn't cut the umbilical till the day before school started. You know the ones, the child is big enough to fold their clothes but you're still dressing them. They can run and jump yet you carry them EVERY DAMN WHERE!!!. Every thing the child asks for you get..  Oh yea you know them

As a teen your son has a penchant for yelling out "Hey bitch," at several of the young girls in the neighborhood.. You spoiled his ass and made him into the little punk bitch he is today...

In high school you wake up with cum in your hair, ass, mouth and you can't see cause you're got a seman wrap on your face.. Mom and day stressed that boys were the devil and that they were all dirty and no good...

I can go on and on but I'll stop here. Simply to say.. Yes parenting is hard.. And scary.. Yet every time you take a step to "protect" your child from some harm, think about protecting them from you.. You're the biggest detriment to your child's mental, emotionally and physical well being simply because you see them the most.. Let them learn. Let them lose and let them cry. Just think about how your parents raised you... And for most of y'all AVOID EVERYTHING YOUR PARENTS DID TO YOU CAUSE YOU'RE PROBABLY FUCKED UP ANYWAY...

Guess its a good thing I don't have kids.. I can imagine being called to the school weekly cause of some smart mouth comment my kids made.... MERCY!!!!
Till Next time friends...