This might get wordy, it might not. I don't know. So as usual, buckle up, hang tight and enjoy the read. And if you enjoy what you read please comment. If you hate what you read please comment.
Last weekend I went to Chuck E. Cheese's. Yall know that place with the motto "Where a kid can be a kid." Great place for small kids. They get to do all the kid type things, run around like fools, yell, scream, make a mess and annoy the hell out of any adults that are near by. Yea, those things. No I wasn't going there getting my R. Kelly on. (Yea i went there, we all know he's had a thing little under aged girls), My nephew/Godson was celebrating his 2 years of being on this glorious planet. So HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY BAD ASS!! Now back to my story.
I attempted to enjoy myself while I was there. And for the most, parts of me did. The part that will eternally remain a child had a blast. The parental part of me enjoyed walking around with my nephew playing games or tossing the ball around. Enjoying the joy he was having. The family man part of me also.
The intellectual, over analytical, extremely critical, ever sarcastic, socially aware black man that encompasses my entire being was down right appalled. It was as if someone had slapped me with a hand full of shit, only cleaner and not as highly offensive(if someone ever slapped me with shit, I'd be in jail). What is it you ask. What could I have possible seen in the land of ashy elbows, unchanged diapers and perpetual bad behavior that could have offend the intellectual, over analytical, extremely critical, ever sarcastic, socially aware black man that I am.....
Mothers...
Yea I said it. The mothers that were there is what got me. Or the age of the mothers. Let me elaborate
When I was younger and went to C.E.C you would see actual mothers there. You know the older more mentally mature, self sacrificing mom's. They made sure your hair was combed, you had lotion or Vaseline on your skin. That you were presentable cause you were being a representation of them. In turn they were dressed and represented themselves in a respectable manner. No booty shorts or low cut tops. They were women.
That shit I saw over the weekend. LAAAAWD HAVE MERCY ON ME!!!! These chicks were wearing any damn thing. I mean just straight TRASHY WHORE TYPE shit. All the tight fitting jumpers, skimpy short skirts and the damn stomachs hanging out of the bottom of their shirts. EWWW!!! That shit was just so damn disgusting.... and embarrassing.. Now the few that were some what semi presentable, halfway decent were the proud parents of kids that I'd be embarrassed to call mine
The apathy in the place was over bearing. They walked in located a table gave the kids tokens and that was that. They sat there eating and talking while these damn bad ass Bebe's just ran roughshod all over the damn place. They were so bad they didn't turn on the band. HOW THE HELL THE CHUCK E. CHEESE BAND NOT BE TURNED ON!!!!!
And then it hit me, these are kids. Raised with no direction, no desire. No solid role models to show them what being a woman is all about. They didn't have Big Momma and nem. No village helping to raise them. Most of them didn't have a man in the house telling them they were beautiful and special and a treasure. Most were born with out hope.
So as I sat in the land of dusty elbows, ashy ankles and bad ass kids. In the world of skimpy skirts and fucked up lace fronts I had a mild epiphany. A mini revelation..
I'm not going into another fucking Chuck E. Cheese's again.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
The Black Man's Burden
As I've said before, I'm black. African-American, pigmentally overloaded or how ever you want refer to it. If you're a little petite white girl, I'm the man your mom's whispered about when you were packing for college. I'm the man you father strictly FORBADE you from talking to when you got to college. The big black guy from the big city. Yep that's me.
Although I'm black, let me destroy all of your preconceived stereotypes of the black male from the city. I'm 33 college educated, i read at least 2 books a month, no convictions, never been shot, never shot any one, never sold drugs, never been in a gang, my pants don't sag (unless i don't have a belt on and that's almost never). I don't wear white tee's. I speak proper English, (although I can be speak and understand the language of the streets very well). I work. No not out on the corner hustling but in an actual office. I pay taxes and and I know who my father is.
Now, with all that out in the open I will always be lumped into the mass of black men who embarrass the shit out of themselves with all the tomfoolery and other idiotic shit they persist in doing on a daily basis. I don't like being lumped into that catergory but its life. Although it shouldn't be. I'm sure you're wondering what has brought this on. Well I have a story. Wanna here it,
Well, here it goes.
Over the weekend I was at a White Sox game. And per our usual, we always find a group of folks to hang with. These groups typically involve groups of women who range in the semi to completely smashed range of drunkenness. They are also mostly white. (Hey don't hate me, its just hard to find black women at U.S Cellular who aren't over the age of 50). On this particular day we ran into a young lady and she decided to talk and hang with me for the majority of the game. No biggie we were standing behind her section any way.
To make a long story short, near the end of the game a rain storm rolls through (again, fucking mother nature, damn woman can't make up her mind) and everyone headed for some kind of shelter. Her group (an entire BUS load) left her. With us. The two black guys from the city. (insert porn music here). At this point she's soaking wet, (HEY get your minds outta the damn gutter I just said it was a raining)so we decided to just leave and call it a night. Us being nice guys decided that we weren't gonna just leave her by her self in an area she didn't know. (I swear this shit does read like a porn script doesn't it).
We make it out to the parking lot and locate her bus. With all the folk who left her. So as we're standing there talking saying good by and what not. You know that general shoot the breeze type of thing one of her friends(drunk) walks up to her and whispers in her ear, ARE YOU SAFE!!!! Notice I said whisper yet we heard her loud and clear. ARE YOU SAFE!! (insert gasps, screeching brakes and crickets)
And there is my problem.. SERIOUSLY!!!!! I'm not one to pull the racism card. Hell I'm actually the last person to pull the racism card but I'm slamming this joint on the table like the set book in a game of spades. That was some insulting and racist shit to say. Flat out, bottom line. Now I could have behaved like a hooligan and called her out her name for the slight but I didn't. I simply bowed my head and laughed. Cause racism is ignorance, and ignorance is funny to me. (Stupid lil tramp).
The sad thing about all of this is, she probably thought there was nothing wrong or insulting with what she said. She was just one friend checking on the "well being" of another. I mean she was genuinely concerned. Even though she left her girl in a ball park, by herself several miles from home with two strange men. She had to have been concerned for her friends safety, especially after those same two men walked her back to the bus, laughing. I mean all black men are heathens and will rape and kill white women and then brag about it in a rap song while sippin a 40'oz bottle of malt liquor. That's what we all do ain't it....Right!?!?!?
I laugh simple because it's a tragic fact of life. Being a black man in this country means we are always guilty until proven innocent. Its not just White America that does this to us. Not just what women. Sista's do it also. OH you think i'm lying. You know when yall go out to the clubs and a man approaches one of your friends. 9 times out of 10 one of you is gonna impinge on the convo cause you aren't sure she's "safe".
So yeah its damn near the cost of being a black man in America. We get blamed for EVERYTHING and get credit for damn near nothing. So from the bottom of my heart and the from hearts of all the GOOD BLACK MEN who go through this shit every day.
FUCK ALL YALL
Now where's my 40 and my gat, FOOLS!!!
Although I'm black, let me destroy all of your preconceived stereotypes of the black male from the city. I'm 33 college educated, i read at least 2 books a month, no convictions, never been shot, never shot any one, never sold drugs, never been in a gang, my pants don't sag (unless i don't have a belt on and that's almost never). I don't wear white tee's. I speak proper English, (although I can be speak and understand the language of the streets very well). I work. No not out on the corner hustling but in an actual office. I pay taxes and and I know who my father is.
Now, with all that out in the open I will always be lumped into the mass of black men who embarrass the shit out of themselves with all the tomfoolery and other idiotic shit they persist in doing on a daily basis. I don't like being lumped into that catergory but its life. Although it shouldn't be. I'm sure you're wondering what has brought this on. Well I have a story. Wanna here it,
Well, here it goes.
Over the weekend I was at a White Sox game. And per our usual, we always find a group of folks to hang with. These groups typically involve groups of women who range in the semi to completely smashed range of drunkenness. They are also mostly white. (Hey don't hate me, its just hard to find black women at U.S Cellular who aren't over the age of 50). On this particular day we ran into a young lady and she decided to talk and hang with me for the majority of the game. No biggie we were standing behind her section any way.
To make a long story short, near the end of the game a rain storm rolls through (again, fucking mother nature, damn woman can't make up her mind) and everyone headed for some kind of shelter. Her group (an entire BUS load) left her. With us. The two black guys from the city. (insert porn music here). At this point she's soaking wet, (HEY get your minds outta the damn gutter I just said it was a raining)so we decided to just leave and call it a night. Us being nice guys decided that we weren't gonna just leave her by her self in an area she didn't know. (I swear this shit does read like a porn script doesn't it).
We make it out to the parking lot and locate her bus. With all the folk who left her. So as we're standing there talking saying good by and what not. You know that general shoot the breeze type of thing one of her friends(drunk) walks up to her and whispers in her ear, ARE YOU SAFE!!!! Notice I said whisper yet we heard her loud and clear. ARE YOU SAFE!! (insert gasps, screeching brakes and crickets)
And there is my problem.. SERIOUSLY!!!!! I'm not one to pull the racism card. Hell I'm actually the last person to pull the racism card but I'm slamming this joint on the table like the set book in a game of spades. That was some insulting and racist shit to say. Flat out, bottom line. Now I could have behaved like a hooligan and called her out her name for the slight but I didn't. I simply bowed my head and laughed. Cause racism is ignorance, and ignorance is funny to me. (Stupid lil tramp).
The sad thing about all of this is, she probably thought there was nothing wrong or insulting with what she said. She was just one friend checking on the "well being" of another. I mean she was genuinely concerned. Even though she left her girl in a ball park, by herself several miles from home with two strange men. She had to have been concerned for her friends safety, especially after those same two men walked her back to the bus, laughing. I mean all black men are heathens and will rape and kill white women and then brag about it in a rap song while sippin a 40'oz bottle of malt liquor. That's what we all do ain't it....Right!?!?!?
I laugh simple because it's a tragic fact of life. Being a black man in this country means we are always guilty until proven innocent. Its not just White America that does this to us. Not just what women. Sista's do it also. OH you think i'm lying. You know when yall go out to the clubs and a man approaches one of your friends. 9 times out of 10 one of you is gonna impinge on the convo cause you aren't sure she's "safe".
So yeah its damn near the cost of being a black man in America. We get blamed for EVERYTHING and get credit for damn near nothing. So from the bottom of my heart and the from hearts of all the GOOD BLACK MEN who go through this shit every day.
FUCK ALL YALL
Now where's my 40 and my gat, FOOLS!!!
Thursday, August 11, 2011
My sword and My shield
Christian talk coming up. If this offends you i've given you fair warning. Bounce... For all others.. Read on
Its amazing what Christian folks have been going through these day. All this extra drama and strife and all that other sad ish. It can be depressing for some of you out there. Hell for a lot of you out there. I'd like to let you all know, that some of yall are killing me with all the ho hum, i'm sad, my life this, my life that he/she don't do this and that. Straight killin me.
Galatians 6:7 reads "Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap." Got it!!! All that drama and hell you got going on in your life, sorry to say this, its your fault. You can't que up the Silk the Shocker music this time. Cause this is all on your door step. So stop whining and just grab your plate and eat it
That garden is full bloom now.
I'm not saying this to be mean or cruel or even harsh. I am saying it to be honest with you. Stop acting like you don't know "WHY" things always happen to you. "Why does HE let this happen to his folk? "WHY ME?" "WHY WHY WHY?" Look in the mirror when you ask those questions and you'll see the answer to your problems.
It's truly amazing that during those troubling times, when Satan has his head all up in your business When you're in the middle of reaping what you've sowed that folks lay down their shield. How can you lay it down just when you need it most. Your Bible, that book that will protect, comfort and enlighten you in even your darkest hours.
That's your SHIELD!!!!
Now the Sword, that's your mouth. Its funny, folks will swing that Sword in a heartbeat when the Devil is up to no good. They will swing it in a nano second when they want to insult or ridicule someone else. Yet when its time to swing that sword on themselves.. When its time to bring the light into their own mess..
They use a silk scarf.
Use your Sword to expose your own personal demons. Acknowledge them and call them what they really are. They are YOURS!!!!
Your lies, your deceits the pain you've cause others. Use that Sword to cut through the veil of BS you constantly surround your self with. Then you'll notice a change in your world. Stop laying your Sword and Shield down when you're the cause of your problems. It is then that you need to embrace it.
I'm not perfect but I speak from experience. You have to reap all the ish you sow. You have to acknowledge and truly accept the fact that your problems are your's and you've created and contributed to them. Once that level of self awareness is reached. Then you're realize how good HE REALLY is. I have faults. And i make mistakes, every day. Yet I refuse to ignore them. And I make strides to be better than I was the day before.
In order to change your world you've got to change the main thing in it. YOU!!! Only then will you notice a change for the better.
Its amazing what Christian folks have been going through these day. All this extra drama and strife and all that other sad ish. It can be depressing for some of you out there. Hell for a lot of you out there. I'd like to let you all know, that some of yall are killing me with all the ho hum, i'm sad, my life this, my life that he/she don't do this and that. Straight killin me.
Galatians 6:7 reads "Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap." Got it!!! All that drama and hell you got going on in your life, sorry to say this, its your fault. You can't que up the Silk the Shocker music this time. Cause this is all on your door step. So stop whining and just grab your plate and eat it
That garden is full bloom now.
I'm not saying this to be mean or cruel or even harsh. I am saying it to be honest with you. Stop acting like you don't know "WHY" things always happen to you. "Why does HE let this happen to his folk? "WHY ME?" "WHY WHY WHY?" Look in the mirror when you ask those questions and you'll see the answer to your problems.
It's truly amazing that during those troubling times, when Satan has his head all up in your business When you're in the middle of reaping what you've sowed that folks lay down their shield. How can you lay it down just when you need it most. Your Bible, that book that will protect, comfort and enlighten you in even your darkest hours.
That's your SHIELD!!!!
Now the Sword, that's your mouth. Its funny, folks will swing that Sword in a heartbeat when the Devil is up to no good. They will swing it in a nano second when they want to insult or ridicule someone else. Yet when its time to swing that sword on themselves.. When its time to bring the light into their own mess..
They use a silk scarf.
Use your Sword to expose your own personal demons. Acknowledge them and call them what they really are. They are YOURS!!!!
Your lies, your deceits the pain you've cause others. Use that Sword to cut through the veil of BS you constantly surround your self with. Then you'll notice a change in your world. Stop laying your Sword and Shield down when you're the cause of your problems. It is then that you need to embrace it.
I'm not perfect but I speak from experience. You have to reap all the ish you sow. You have to acknowledge and truly accept the fact that your problems are your's and you've created and contributed to them. Once that level of self awareness is reached. Then you're realize how good HE REALLY is. I have faults. And i make mistakes, every day. Yet I refuse to ignore them. And I make strides to be better than I was the day before.
In order to change your world you've got to change the main thing in it. YOU!!! Only then will you notice a change for the better.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Seasons Change
People are in your life for a season.... yada yada yada you know how it goes. We've all heard it and we know how it goes. If you don't, get yo head outta ya ass and look it up. Where the hell you been under a rock??? Seriously....
Ok back to what I originally started to write about. Seasons. Or better yet the ebb and flow of relationships and how your past impacts your future. Damn that's a mouth full.. So this week my better half had a minor surgical procedure that required her to spend the night in jail... Oh wait I meant in the hospital... Hell they both the same thing ain't they. Shitty living spaces, bland food, someone watching your every move. And occasionally you might get the annoying roommate who snores, always clogs the toilet and has a strange body odor. (Shit this reminds me of college almost)..
Fuck, ok where was I... Oh yea. The wife had surgery this week. I won't say what kind cause it ain't ya damn biddness. The surgery was a success but that's not what I wanna talk about.
When I got ready to finally crash for the night it hit me that I'd been through this surgery with another significant other in my life before. Yet this time it was different. This time it was my wife, my heart and my soul. The first time I went through this same situation I wasn't sure what to say or how to act. Not knowing how to touch her or should I offer any assistance of any kind. This time I didn't have those apprehensions. This time I was at peace. And all I could think of was seasons..
Seasons
And their timing.
I'll admit, that I've been a bastard in most of my relationships. Its just my nature.. I'm harsh, especially to those I love. Yet I pray that I've left a positive impact on the lives of those I've shared special times with. I know they have left marks on my life.
What I really realized is that when folks talk about the ending of relationships, its always negative. Its always malice filled. I mean are folks under the impression that all relationships should end in marriage? Everyone you date isn't a life mate.Some seasons are longer than others. That doesn't mean you can't learn from them. Treat each season as a learning experience. Don't be so quick to forget or expunge the memory of the prior season from your memory. That past relationship taught you something important.
Its up to you to stop being an ass about your past and embrace it.
Whenever you hear the line about seasons (you know the one you're supposed to look up once you get that rock from over your head) you should remember this one. "Those that don't know history are doomed to repeat it." If you need some help in determining why your current situations are the way they are. Look at your past ones. The good and the bad. The answer is probably there...
Ok back to what I originally started to write about. Seasons. Or better yet the ebb and flow of relationships and how your past impacts your future. Damn that's a mouth full.. So this week my better half had a minor surgical procedure that required her to spend the night in jail... Oh wait I meant in the hospital... Hell they both the same thing ain't they. Shitty living spaces, bland food, someone watching your every move. And occasionally you might get the annoying roommate who snores, always clogs the toilet and has a strange body odor. (Shit this reminds me of college almost)..
Fuck, ok where was I... Oh yea. The wife had surgery this week. I won't say what kind cause it ain't ya damn biddness. The surgery was a success but that's not what I wanna talk about.
When I got ready to finally crash for the night it hit me that I'd been through this surgery with another significant other in my life before. Yet this time it was different. This time it was my wife, my heart and my soul. The first time I went through this same situation I wasn't sure what to say or how to act. Not knowing how to touch her or should I offer any assistance of any kind. This time I didn't have those apprehensions. This time I was at peace. And all I could think of was seasons..
Seasons
And their timing.
I'll admit, that I've been a bastard in most of my relationships. Its just my nature.. I'm harsh, especially to those I love. Yet I pray that I've left a positive impact on the lives of those I've shared special times with. I know they have left marks on my life.
What I really realized is that when folks talk about the ending of relationships, its always negative. Its always malice filled. I mean are folks under the impression that all relationships should end in marriage? Everyone you date isn't a life mate.Some seasons are longer than others. That doesn't mean you can't learn from them. Treat each season as a learning experience. Don't be so quick to forget or expunge the memory of the prior season from your memory. That past relationship taught you something important.
Its up to you to stop being an ass about your past and embrace it.
Whenever you hear the line about seasons (you know the one you're supposed to look up once you get that rock from over your head) you should remember this one. "Those that don't know history are doomed to repeat it." If you need some help in determining why your current situations are the way they are. Look at your past ones. The good and the bad. The answer is probably there...
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