Stalking Claus

So while I was putzing around the house this weekend, I had a thought. Yea I know, here he goes with another of those damn thoughts. Have you ever paid attention to the lyrics to Santa Claus is coming to town??? When this thought hit me this song wasn't even playing anywhere nearby. Maybe my mind is just in a holiday mood, who knows. All I know is that when you listen to or better yet read the lyrics, a disturbing fact is discovered. Santa Claus is Coming to Town describes the exploits of a stalker. Yes that's right folks, a world class Grade A stalker....

As I write this, i'm sober as shit....Ok i'm lying, i've had a about two beers and a vodka and apple juice cocktail over the course of 4 hours. So i'm sober-ish. Now are you're reading this you may be thinking What the hell has gotten into you this time. I'm not crazy. I'm serious.. You don't believe me take a look at the lyrics.


You better watch out You better not cry You better not pout I'm telling you why Santa Claus is coming to town (repeat two times) Here is where he warns you. You better watch out. Don't you pout and you better not cry cause i'm coming for yo ass.

He's making a list, Checking it twice; Gonna find out who's naughty or nice. Santa Claus is coming to town (repeat two times) Now he's telling you that he's got your address and he's checking it. To ensure he's got the right one.


He sees you when you're sleeping He knows when you're awake He knows if you've been bad or good So be good for goodness sake Peek-a-boo I see you. Cause i'm outside your window watching you With little tin horns and little toy drums Rooty toot toots and rummy tum tums Santa Claus is coming to town (repeat two times) Don't mind that banging and rattling you hear. Those are just the duct tape, hand cuffs and other assorted items in my rape kit you hear.

Do you see where i'm coming from. This song is nothing but a hidden stalker anthem. Whats worse. I've discovered that there are subliminal message in another Christmas song. Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer is about an alcoholic.....