7 Days Post Op....and beyond

My new best friends for a while,
baby spoons

One week ago today, I completed the first leg of a journey I started a little under 2 years ago. A journey that will only end when my days on this earth are over. So after 34 years of age I decided to undergo Weight Loss Surgery. This decision was mine and mine alone. My decisions were selfish, self serving and probably tinged with a lot of vanity.. Hey, it was MY decision so fuck you and your uneducated and uninformed disparaging comment making ass.

Re fried beans and chicken pureed

Some people may wonder what led me to this decision. I mean if you know me you know that walking was not painful. I don't have high blood pressure. Hell in fact my current blood pressure is probably better than 90% of those who may read this. I'm not worried about fitting into the latest fashions. I wasn't unhappy with me. The big guy in the room. The teddy bear for all the kids (and a few adults). So why...

Well simply put, I wanted the best life I can possibly have. I wanted longevity. 

Re fried beans and chicken pureed

 For those that know me, they'll be able to tell you that I've never been a sedentary individual. I stayed active. I was in the gym 2-3 days a week. I could go for 45 mins straight on the elliptical machine and not have a heart attack at the end of a session. I've spent several weekends at U.S. Cellular just walking around watching the game. No ill affects.  I've done the dieting and food logs and fad diets. Yet the weight remained. I needed another option. So before the rest of the illnesses of old age and extra weight I took a leap.

Now there are a few of you who may read this and be skeptical of those claims. Especially about all that I did and still did not lose any weight. My response.  Women can have kids, yet men can't. Think on it.

Pureed Chicken

I chose to do this for me. Was it an easy decision?. Fuck no! 

Was I in pain? YEP!!! (laughing hurts like hell and I'm a FULL body laugher)
Am I still in pain? No. as of this moment I've got a dull ache in my stomach. Been off pain meds since Tuesday night.

Uncomfortable at night?. Like you wouldn't believe. I haven't been able to hold my wife at night in bed for over a week. (And my 3 year anniversary was this past week)

My shelf in the fridge, all pureed foods
and pudding

Do I regret my decision? NOT ON YOUR LIFE.. Simply because, this decision was made with the clearest of minds and the openest of hearts. 

The decision to have the Duodenal switch was mine and mine alone. Yet I'm sure it will benefit countless others around me. It has already help my wife. Simply because by me getting healthier she will by proxy. 

Food Scale 3
(no more than 2oz a meal)

My friends may benefit as well simply because now I'll probably be the only one sober at the end of a night out.

Some will be shocked that I went this route. Others will want to know why they weren't informed prior to my surgical date. And yet still a small handful will throw shade on my decision in its entirety. No feelings were meant to be hurt but if you know me well enough you'll know the answers to these questions. 

So what does the future hold for me? At this point 7 Days Post Op. Who knows? Sky is the limit. Am I afraid? Nope.. This simply helps me to lose weight. The onus is still on me to follow through. Simply because I can still gain weight. It happens all the time.. To make this decision. It takes courage. It takes will and most importantly a TON of dedication and support. You have to say and commit to doing things that you've probably never done before.

Vitamins I will be on for life

And here I am, 7 Days into the second greatest journey of my life (marriage is number 1), with a smile on my face and arms open wide, welcoming all challenges..

SWOOP.....ONE TIME...

This is for the CLASS OF 1996 FROM LINDBLOM TECHNICAL HIGH SCHOOL

The Chronic, Can I Borrow a Dolla, Whut? Thee Album Sexy Versus, Funky Divas, Hi-Five... 1992
 Enter the Wu Tang, Midnight Maruaders, Doggystyle It Ain't What You Wear. It's How You Play It, Hootie Mack...1993
Souternplayalisticadillacmuzik, Ready, to Die, Illmatic Age Ain't Nuthin But a Number, Blackstreet, Brandy...1994
Soul Food, Only Built 4 Cuban Linx, Me Against the World, Do You Wanna Ride, Brown Sugar, The Show, The After Party, The Hotel....1995
Reasonable Doubt, Iron Man, ATLiens One In a Million, Dru Hill, Ginuwine-The Bachelor .....1996


 I know you all remember these albums. Hell if you're like me some of them are still on rotation. This was our soundtrack. GENERATION X... remember that phrase... How about New Jacks... That's another. That's who we were. Hell it's who we still are... 20 years ago...


It wasn't until someone mentioned it that it really hit me that it has been 20 years since my freshman year of high school. In the fall of 1992 I met a group of individual who through good and bad we would all form a lifetime bond. One built on a shared experience. 6130 Wolcott... One of the BEST high schools in the city of Chicago at that time. I said it, I'll stand by it and I'll stand on that statement. When you walked under those pillars (Eagles know what I'm talking about) you knew that your life would be forever changed..

It wasn't easy. As a matter of fact it was down right scary getting to LTHS. Very few of us actually came from the Englewood area. Yet, we'd all heard about it. All TRUE Chicagoans knew about Englewood back then. Not you suburban transplants. Those of us who were born and raised in the CHI knew what we were walking into. Yet we did it. We made that walk from Damen or from 63rd. We came from the low end and from the Southeast side. We came. We fought. We soared... As Eagles do.

Just like the music we listened to back then on our TAPE PLAYERS!!!! Oh the memories of those clunky magnetic devices that uses that little black spool of tape to contain our favorite jams. Hell, I know i wasn't the only one who had a duel tape deck in their room, copying music from WGCI.. I know I wasn't the only one on the bus bobbing my head listening to Nuthin But a G'Thang. The music from back then is TIMELESS... Like us.

Yet if you all remember it almost didn't happen for us. We hatchlings almost ended up else where. If you all remember back in 1992 Lindblom was placed on the chopping block. I remember hearing about it shortly after I received my acceptance letter. They wanted to close a school that was doing great things. Especially in one of the poorer neighborhoods in Chicago. They wanted to close a school that while being predominately African American, was still producing excellent members of society. They wanted to snatch our nest before we had a chance to explore.it. The school prevailed. Its doors remained open. We were welcomed... Our journey began...

And for 4 years it was heaven.. It was hell. It was a haven from the issues we had at home. LTHS is where most of us fell in love (or lust) for the first time. Hell some of you have memories of the BACK ALLEY... YOU FREAKS!!!! It was our launching pad. The halls of LTHS molded us into the individuals have become. Both mentally, physically and spiritually. We were "nerds" yet we weren't punks. Fuck with an Eagle and you'd remember it.

We fought the elements, both natural and the neighborhood. I remember them Vicelords (or whatever the fuck they were) looking for me for months cause I wouldn't let them just beat one of my boys down. I remember that bus driver closing the door on my arm while i'm fighting two fools on the street.I remember the police getting on the bus that day wanting a statement and me telling them they were about 2 miles to late. I remember having my Grambling towel coat stolen outta my locker in the middle of a Chicago winter.. (Talk about a cold as bus ride home THAT DAY).

We fought each other... I won't name any particulars here but you all know who you are.. And yet at the end we all came together. Cause 4 years later they tried to do the same thing.. They wanted to take away what we'd fought for. In '92 they put LTHS on the block and once again in '96 we were on the block again.

Remember that C/O'96.. Remember reading the news and them talking about closing our doors forever.. Remember the meetings and marches. The posters and the fights. They tried to clip our wings. And they failed, yet again. We continued to SOAR..

It wasn't always fighting. There were the dances. Winter Ball, Homecoming, Prom. The games, football and basketball. And the lunch room (or drafting). The spades games and the food fights. It was us.

There were tears as well. Class Sing '96. And then again later that year as most of us were preparing to enter college as freshmen. I won't name names but I love them both to this day and I'll ALWAYS remember them. As I'll always remember and love you all.

92-96 were pivotal years in our lives. And just like the music of our high school years we shine brighter than all the rest. We're CLASSICS!!! Who else had to pray to attend the school of their choice and then 4 years later have to fight again to finish the journey we started there. Good music soars over all else..So do Eagles..So does the C/0 '96 WE ARE TIMELESS!!!!!

SO LET ME HEAR YOU CLASS OF '96

ONE TIME

SWOOP!!!!!

I Do, (Until You ___)

WARNING

From this point on you've consented to read this message. So whatever you read its your own damn fault.

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I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

No matter what version you use, no matter how you word it. When you get married this is what you're in for. THIS IS YOUR CONTRACT!! So what does this mean. Well, you're literally saying that You take the other person to be your mate for life. Through all the good times and all the bad times, when they've got money in the bank or bill collectors on the doorstep. When they've showered and when they've got that three day binge drinking hangover breath.to love and cherish till one of you dies.. THAT'S IT!! That's what you agree to when you say I do. That's what all the women fight for and all the men run from. Sad reality is we need more folks running in general. Cause marriage ain't easy.

Next month I celebrate 3 years of blissful matrimony. Now some of you reading this will be like hell, it can't be that bad if you got married and are STILL HAPPILY married. Especially given my penchant for being an overall asshole. All I can say is, the Mrs understood what she was getting into. She was warned SEVERAL TIMES by friends and family. Hell people still apologize to her simply because they know how I can be. Yet she still loves me. Through the good and bad. That's what it's all about.

I know marriage isn't easy. Hell I'm the product of a happily married couple. My folks have been married for 50 years this month (if my math is correct). I heard the arguments. I heard the discussions. I've seen the love that trumps everything else. It's what holds them together. They grew up in a time when marriage wasn't taken lightly. They raised me to understand that and to understand that when you say I do, you should mean it.

Not the way some of these fucks mean it. Its gotten to the point that I do has a caveat in small print that says (I Do, until you're broke, fat, ugly as a swamp rat, or you swap bodily fluids with another person). That's how folks are treating their vows these days. Frankly it's sickening. Yea I said it, its fucking sickening. The problem is folks want to be married but they only want the good and the somewhat bad. Folks aren't in it for the long haul.

Chad and Evelyn... this shit was doomed from the start. Simply because, he's a washed up football player and she's a whore.. YEA I SAID IT. She's a whore.. (click the link and check out the third definition). She's a media whore. No I've never watched that bullshit that she's on and I never will. The fact that I know who the fuck she is just from social media and news outlets is enough. (Ladies, don't get caught up in the word whore. It's a universal term.)

She found a condom receipt in a car and he headbutted her... And that's the end of their union that they were so happy to create... SERIOUSLY!!!! No extended argument, no heated explanations, no calls to the others friends trying to find out where they are cause you still love them and want to work it out.. A condom receipt and a headbutt and then divorce.. I'll say this and I'll stand by it. There was NO LOVE IN THIS MARRIAGE FROM THE START!!!

I'm not saying anyone should ever lay hands (or head in their case) on another individual. Yet mistakes do happen. Hell I'll say this, I think the head butt was accidental. Simply because I've never seen anyone THAT pissed off that they lean over and head butt another individual. I have seen it happen when that person is all up in someone else's face and during the screaming their heads collide. And give her history, I'm sure she was ready to fight when she saw the condom receipt.

What I'm saying is, this was the BAD that was talked about in their vows. Infidelity should not be the end of a marriage. If it is, at least attempt to find out how long it happened. If it was a series of events then I can see divorce being an option. If it was a one time thing you should attempt to work it out.

Having an affair is bad, but its not murder. Close your mouths, you did just read that correctly. An affair is bad, but it shouldn't end a marriage. Not one in which love was truly there. You agreed to be there through the good and bad... If this isn't bad, what is?


I've known folks that are fighting to get back to square one due to infidelity. I commend all of you. Simply because you're fighting to save the love that you have for each other. Lives should not be destroyed due to one indiscretion. Now if you on some Tiger Woods type shit BE GONE BEYOTCH!!!!!

I've written all of this to say, if you're thinking about marriage or you're about to get married stop and think about it first. It's so easy to love a person when they're smiling and being all lovey dovey with you. When they're spoiling you and putting you on a pedestal every day. Yet can you love that same person when they make a mistake. When they are yelling at you cause they've had a bad day at work. Are you willing to stick with them when they get laid off and are depressed cause they don't have a job.

It ain't easy, yet when two work at it. I mean REALLY WORK at it, marriage is so rewarding and satisfying..

SHOUT OUT TO MY FOLKS FOR CELEBRATING THAT BIG 50 



When the Devils Driving, Ride Shotgun.

Whats going on world. Its me again. I know its been a while and I did say I'd attempt to make posts on a more request basis. And I haven't. Oh frigging well. If you're reading this its recreational reading for you. You're just interested in reading what type of educated ignorance I'm gonna bless you with today. Well sit back, relax and enjoy.

So today I just happened to be going through the news in Chicago. I came across this article. Its about a 20 year old kid who has recently died due to a heroin overdoes. Nothing new there.. I'm not being callous or heartless. Its just a sad fact of life. People die everyday from some drug or other. Some intentionally some not. It is what it is. The thing that's not normal is a statement that his mother makes about how his addiction started. To paraphrase (BIG WORD I KNOW!!!) his addiction resulted from smoking weed with an acquaintance who laced it with heroin. Now the young man who died did not (according to his mother) know this weed was laced.. And here in lies the crux (ANOTHER BIG WORD) of my issue today....WHAT TYPE OF SICK BASTARD LACES GOOD WEED(ALLEGEDLY) WITH HEROIN AND NOT TELL THE FOLKS HE'S SMOKING IT WITH!!!!

PSA The rest of this post will in some way refer to or flat out blatantly talk about drug usage. I'M IN NO WAY ADVOCATING THE USAGE, DISTRIBUTION OR SELLING OF ILLEGAL DRUGS IN ANY FASHION. I am however promoting the safe use of any illegal drugs you're using that when used properly will make you EXTREMELY happy, sometimes giggly and perpetually (ANOTHER BIG WORD. ONE A ROLL) hungry.

If you're like me you've PROBABLY done some shit that's considered stupid or downright dangerous in your time. If you haven't then FUCK YOU!! Some of us like to take risks before we leave this planet. You know have something to tell our kids NOT to do. There's nothing worse than some old ass stick in the mud fuddy duddy telling you not to do something because (Fill in your own bullshit reasoning here) When they never attempted the damn thing.

Anyway. What I'm getting at is that most of us have done some ignorant shit. Drove home drunk, had sex unprotected, crossed the into and out of Canada with weed under the front seat while on vacation. Whatever your act may be you've done it.You knew the potential for negative consequences if shit went downhill and you proceeded. Even if you weren't the devil. You were riding next to him/her (gotta include chicks cause we know they do dirty shit as well.) When the devils driving, you were riding shotgun.

Front row, center field. You knew what you were facing and you rode in head first. If you're gonna do it DO IT RIGHT!!! Don't let someone else fuck you over. Screw your self first. You know the saying, no one knows how to please you better than you. Yea so what it the statement applies to masturbation it works here as well. Don't let any one get over on you.

As my pop's told me Don't take no wooden nickles..

I'm not bashing the young man who died. To be honest with you it hurts me whenever some dies of a drug addiction. An addiction death is one of the most preventable deaths around. It really hurts me when I hear of an addiction death in which the addiction was not of the "addicts" choosing. And by "choosing" I mean that the addict was remotely aware of what they were using and that it was potentially addictive. This kid didn't have that chance. He was smoking what is mainly a harmless drug. Unfortunately he was riding backseat while the devil was driving..

No fault of his. He probably trusted this acquaintance. Yet if its like most weed based relationships I've known about.... Let me back up and explain this term. Think of a weed based relationship as a booty call where instead of sex yall only together to smoke.. He probably only knew this acquaintance in the context of a haze of weed smoke and a bag of trail mix (don't judge me). That's it.

If you're gonna get in trouble. Be the ring leader.
If you're gonna rob a bank be a trigger man.
If you're gonna start a fight throw the first punch.
If you're gonna run a multi billion dollar company into the ground screwing thousands of employees and millions of investors out of their hard earned money be the president of the company.

Don't be the person who says I have no idea how i ended up here
Don't get quoted saying "They asked me to meet them in front of First Bank of Hood at 4:13pm exactly."
Don't be the cat getting sucker punched. (Simply because this cat typically ends up missing his front teeth and a few days of work.)
Don't be the junior assistant to the assistant of the VP of the President. (Yea you saw the memo's as they were going by and yet you knew what was happening but you said nothing. Now you're broke and unemployed and you never got a chance to live the good live.)



When the devils driving, ride shotgun... at least this way you ALWAYS know what you're getting into.

Bitch made responses from Little Beirut

.

A blood stain spreads on the ground marking another tragic end. Today some  mother wakes up, goes to the bathroom and contemplates ending her life. The wail of a mothers cry and the ambulance sirens are so frequent they often blend into one.
One continous wail,
of agony,
of pain
of death..

This is Chicago.. Where the wind is heavy and the streets are deadly.
This is Chicago, The big city in the middle. Middle of the country
Middle of a war..

I'm a product of  this great city. Preschool all the way to high school. Left and then came back and finished college in this city. I lost my virginity in this city. Fought in this city. Found love in this city. 34 years in this city. I've seen lots of the city. But the shit that's happening now..

I don't recognize this city. The city of Chi has now become the city of die..
WELCOME TO LIL BEIRUT... HOME OF THE BITCH MADE RESPONSE TEAM!!

Now some of you are wondering what the hell is the Bitch Made Response Team (BMRT henceforth). Well let me tell you. BMRT's exist in all places where people overreact to the simplest thing. My girl dumped me. I'm gonna kill dat bitch. Did you just look at me. You's a dead mutherfucka now. AYE JOE!!!!, I KNOW you just ain't disrespect me like that.. You get what i'm saying now. BMRT'S are scum. They are lower than bacteria. These fucking bastards don't care what they do or who they kill. Their instant reaction is to pull a gun and shoot. Ergo Bitch Made Response.

Pundits across the nation are now beginning to take notice to the violence in the Chi. With this new attention comes the all the talking heads (media for those not familiar with the term) saying what the issue is and how to fix it. More cop's on the streets, more jobs, a better economy, less guns... The list goes on and one. Yet all their suggested fix's are nothing more than band aids to the real issue.

How do you change a culture of hopelessness. No matter how many cops you put on the damn streets, no matter how many people you put to work or keep in school, it doesn't matter. All you're doing is putting a band aid over the issue. These cat nowadays just don't care.

Let me break it down to you why (in my opinion) none of the immediate suggestions will work

More cops:  Criminals will just move to where the cops aren't. There will never be enough police officers to do what folks to help. Yes its the polices' job to stop crime and catch criminals. We're talking about prevention. Cops are typically a reactionary measure. Yes they deter crime but only in those who actually care about consequenses.

More schooling (better schooling): The folks out committing these crimes aren't in school. LITERALLY these are TYPICALLY drop outs.They didn't care for school. They didn't want to be bothered with classes and teachers.

More Jobs/Better Economy Lets be honest here. The majority of the BMRT are not the sort of folks you want employed at your company. Yea I said it. The only economy they are worried about is the street made economy. BMRT aren't concerned with working for someone else, making an honest living starting at the bottom. They want the quick buck. The fast dollar.

No matter what way you cut it the root of the issue is Hopelessness..

None of these solutions address this issue. So the question is how do we address it? How do we cure a culture of hopelessness. I honestly have no clue. I know its wrong for an intelligent black man to say that i've given up hope on the current crop of younger men out these days. Yet i'll say it.  The current generation of 18-23 year old's is just done. Once you hit a certain age, the only thing that will get through to you is a catastrophic event. Other wise you're pretty set in your mental make up.

It's the younger kids we need to focus on. Those kids that are looking for some point of focus. Someplace to turn to in their time of need. These younger kids are the ones we need to save. Those without homes. Hell even those with homes need our attention. They need safe havens, places away from predators and pedophiles. Haves or love and peace. Education and hope. They need mothers and sisters and brothers. Aunts and uncles. Grandmother and grandfathers. . Most importantly they need FATHERS... They need MEN in their lives.

If we want to stop a new generation of the BMRT from ever being formed we as MEN must step up. we have to be there, as a presence. A TRUE presence in the lives of our young kids. We have to stop letting our women raise our little boys. No offense to the single moms doing it on their own but you can't TEACH an little boy to be a MAN. There's no class in school that teach's manliness.

It's a learned trait. It's a viewed trait. It's that hard love when he fucks up. It's that stare when he hurts himself. It's being there on the first day of school. There at night to tuck him in. That first pair of cleats when he trys out for the team.

It's being there.Always.  When a MAN is there so is HOPE. Just the simple fact that he's around gives you peace. When a MAN is involved a little boy never gets to the point of hopelessness. Simply because a MAN will teach him which fights to fight. HOW to fight those fights When to walk away. Most importantly he will teach how to avoid being a member of the BMRT.............

PEACE!!!!

Sorry for the length of this.. Had a lot on my heart today...