Helping Ass

Dear SardonicRhetoric, I'm a 24 year old black male who's engaged to a wonderful woman. We  met while we our freshman year in college and have been together ever since. The sex is excellent. She does anything and everything I could dream of ask for. She' even cooks dinner most nights Everything is great except for one minor thing. She has an  temper. In fits of rage she's liable to do harm to anyone around her. She's physically assaulted me on numerous occasions.Nothing serious enough to warrant a trip to the hospital or a call to the police. I've asked her to seek counseling and she says that she will but days a weeks go by and nothing. I'm lost. I love this woman so much and I don't want to lose her. I just don't know what to do. Please help. Sincerely yours, Attached to Simmering Sandra.

Dear Ass, well it sounds like you're got a serious issue here. You getting ya rocks off royally. She will even cook dinner for you. The only problem is (hey watch that right hook), is that she's a lil physical. And you wanna know what to do. I know we say love is blind but dude, has she blacked BOTH yo damn eyes. Wake yo ass up. She's treating yo ass like a diaper.. She rubs her ass on you, shits and pissed on you and then throes you into the washer to clean you off and do it all over again. So you don't know what to do huh. Well here are some simple analogies, Ass to help you see the light.

A stranger walks up to you and says, "Give me all your money. I don't have a gun, nor a knife. I'm not even gonna touch you. But you gonna give me all your money." Do you give him your money?

Your girl tells you, " I know we been living together for five years. And i know we haven't had sex in the past 3 months but I wanna tell you that. I'm 2.5 months pregnant and you're the father." Do you believe her?

At work your boss tells you "We love what you're doing for the company. We want you to take a 10% pay cut and work 15 additional hours a week." Do you accept?

Ok Ass, if you answered yes to ANY of these politely lose my fucking e-mail address and never contact me again. Ass, your answers clearly show you are NOT going to take heed to ANYTHING I say. Further more, Ass, it also shows that you are totally destined to be a whiny lil bitch and never realize whats happening to you. Until YOU understand that all the signs are there and that only YOU, Ass, can change your situation.

Keep ducking that right hook homeboy.

Now if you read this and it sounds like your life then please take note. USE YOUR DAMN BRAIN BEFORE SEEKING ADVICE FROM ANYONE ELSE. You know the millisecond your stupid ass decides to write the fucking letter that you aren't going to listen to the person. SO stop wasting their time. If yo ass is ALWAYS crying, bleeding, pregnant, paying the bill,  holding the bag or any other situation that YO SIMPLE ASS CAN RECTIFY WITH A LIL COMMON FUCKING SENSE AND SELF RESPECT don't write,text or call anyone..  Reach out when you really ready to Make that change.