Sight Unseen

This is what I wake up to every day. No not the actual scenery in the picture. The way it looks. That foggy haze. The doubles and halos. This is what my vision is like on almost a daily basis. I suffer from Keratoconus. Keratoconus (kera-tow-cone-us) is a degenerative non-inflammatory disorder of the eye in which structural changes within the cornea cause it to thin and change to a more conical shape than its normal, even curve. Keratoconus can cause substantial distortion of the vision, with multiple images, streaking and sensitivity to light all often reported by the patient. Though frequently thought of as a rare condition, keratoconus is the most common dystrophy of the cornea, affecting around one person in a thousand, and it seems to occur equally in all ethnic groups worldwide. That's a definitions I obtained off the Internet. Basically what it means due to the unnatural shape of my cornea, light is interpreted incorrectly which results in these vision distortions. No i can't have Lasik and no glasses don't work. I'm stuck with contacts. And not the comfortable kind either. The frigging hard ones. If you've never worn contacts you can't relate but all my contact wearers' will certainly understand. These are the most uncomfortable things to ever put into your eyes(at times.)

I was diagnosed about 5 years ago and since then I've had to adjust to life in a different line of site. Gone are the days of extended road trips with me being the primary driver or late night excursions to BFE (butt fuck Egypt) with my friends just to have a drink and a laugh. Not unless I have my contacts with me. These things are like a damn cane. If I'm going here or there I must have them with me. Simply because if I don't well, someone else is driving.

Depending on someone else to drive has never been something I had to do until I was diagnosed. I was the driver. Now, I'm regulated to the passenger seat most nights. My day time driving is fine, ( as long as it doesn't rain). As soon as dusk hits, my visions acts like a reverse vampire. It goes into hiding until daybreak. And let me tell you  this sucks. Its an emotional toll like no other I've had simply because, my sight is my everything. Luckily for me one eye is drastically better, or drastically worse depending on how you wanna view my glass. So I'm not ALWAYS dependent on my contacts. And this is good, simply becasue sometimes they don't stay in. Imagine that. The thing that's supposed to give me sight keeps popping out and then my blind ass has to call for help so my wife can help me find it (GOD I love her).

I won't go into all of the emotional adjustments my ass has gone through since being diagnosed. I won't comment on the days i can go where my vision is a complete fog and my eyes are so irritated that I can't wear my contacts. Won't talk about just flat out wishing shit was different. My purpose today is to share a little bit of me, with you. When you ask me to come out and I don't. When you tell me to look for something and I take forever or over look it. When you wonder why I've got a spaced out look in my eyes. This is why. Welcome to my world

of
Sight
Unseen